Meningitis Take 1

Monday December 19th was just like any other Monday. I didn't want to wake up, I didn't want to get the kids ready for school or go to work but since I'm an adult, I did what I had to. I was completely fine all day. Work was work, house work was house work and helping the kids with their homework was all par for the course. I made the fam dinner and had a meeting at church. The meeting was just like the rest of my day, fine. After the meeting, I came home and sat down to eat dinner with a book. About 10 minutes into dinner and my book, a headache struck like lightning. I'm a pro at headaches and realized immediately that this one was going to be a doozy. It was so bad that I didn't even take care of my dinner plate, I just popped three Tylenol and laid down. This is when things get crazy and hazy and not so good. Maybe 30 minutes later I woke up and realized that I had gotten sick. My poor husband, on the couch watching football and absolutely oblivious, didn't realize that this was just the beginning of his life of drudgery and nursing his sick wife. Immediately I started shaking so badly that I could barely speak. Jimmy acted fast and had both the ambulance and my best friend on their way to our house.

The ambulance ride was surreal. I knew I was sick, I knew it was bad and yet I could barely focus on the here and now at the time. I was so cold, it felt like I was never going to get warm again. The EMT was baffled because my skin felt cool to the touch but the thermometer kept saying my temp was 102. This was just the beginning of my medical mysteries. Note to self: baffling medical professionals never turns out well for the patient. Or their insurance company. At this point, all I wanted was to get warm again and go home. I knew what the ER held in store. I couldn't bend my head to my chest and that meant a spinal tap. I had been tested once, several years ago, for meningitis and it was a very unpleasant memory.

If possible, I started to get even worse once I arrived at the hospital. I was so ill that Jimmy overheard a nurse saying they were going to treat me like a chemo patient and automatically put me on antibiotics. This made the spinal tap results almost pointless because once I was on antibiotics, they wouldn't be able to grow a bacterial culture if it was indeed bacterial meningitis. Still, they forged ahead with the spinal tap and apparently, I was a guinea pig for the ER resident. He made three separate attempts to get fluid and caused a leak of spinal fluid in the process. They ended up having to send me to radiology to have a spinal tap done with an Xray. At this point, my mental facilities were almost gone. While I was getting the first three spinal taps, I started to lose my ability to speak. I didn't recognize my husband. Eventually, I became unresponsive. By about 2:30 that morning, they had moved me to ICU and put me on oxygen.

Jimmy spent that night pacing and praying and hoping that I would open my eyes and talk to him. Sadly, for his sake, Tuesday brought no good news and if anything, my condition worsened. The hospital staff wasn't able to tell him if I would even make it.....

Medical Adventures

Someone (my family physician actually) recently told me that I should write a book about the medical journey I've been on in the last few months. I laughed at her and wondered to myself, "Who on earth would want to read about my medical drama?". Isn't it enough that the poor souls on my Facebook have been subjected to it day in and day out as I whine and moan about the newest development? I've shared this story with numerous doctors, hospital staff and nurses. I've shared it to a group of high school leaders at my church. I've talked about it for what seems hours on the phone to my friends and family, my coworkers and church members. I've emailed the story. Haven't I spewed enough? Now mind you, this comment was made a few weeks ago and now it has had time to stew in the back of my mind. Maybe it would be therapeutic for me to vent it all in one spot. Maybe some other person is suffering through something similar to what I've gone through in the past two months and this could encourage them. Heaven knows I could have used some encouragement when there seemed to be no end to the pokes, prods, problems and tests. And maybe, just maybe, I could get it all out of my system.

So in honor of the fact that my life has been like a House episode for the last two months, I've decided to resurrect my blog yet again. This poor, forgotten meme has been sitting out in cyberspace, ignored for over a year. I trot it out when I feel like being witty, or trying my hand at writing and promptly forget about it when life gets, as it is prone to do, very busy. I haven't worked in almost two months due to this illness, so I have plenty of time on my hands at the moment. In fact, I have so much time on my hands that I am tired of reading, tired of watching tv and tired of living what I had supposed would have been a life of pure leisure. Over the next few days as my meningitis story unfolds, maybe someone will see the story and realize that they are not suffering alone. Or maybe no one will read it and it will just be a spot for me to salve my wounds and work out the tangled knot this has made in my heart and mind. Either way, it ought to be interesting.............

God's blessings

A few weeks ago, my husband would have told you that I was a flaming shrew. The combination of a currently high stress job, being back in college with actual homework, gymnastics, youth group and my own two children who struggle with homework, my own bible study/mentor meetings and I was ready to tear my hair out. It was only going to take one small thing to send me over the edge...

.....it was a poorly painted wall that did it. Frantic to finish the back room, I demoted my husband from painter and took over. For some reason, in all the painting we've done in the last few years, we still do not have a stepladder. So here I was, standing on a very unstable and rickety stool trying to paint near the ceiling. This, after a few early birthday drinks with some friends (and btw Mark, thanks for that shot of liquid cocaine....nasty), does not a good combination make. My lovely husband is quite protective of me and did not want me on the stool. I was not, of course, listening to reason and it lead to an argument. About how I absolutely HAD to finish painting because it was the one thing I could control. Jimmy said.....wait for it.....that I sounded just like my mother. Now that's something no woman wants to hear. And it certainly did nothing to improve my frantic mood.

Later that night though, that little comment gave me much food for thought. And my comment leading up to that was a definite eye opener. Who was I to think that I could control anything??? It was apparent that I was trying to do this all on my own. Silly Meghan. You would have thought that I would have learned this lesson by now. Over and over again I try to assert my dominance over my own situation, my own destiny. And over and over again, God gently reminds me that He has the reins. You would think that since I'm a reasonably smart woman, I'd have caught on by now. Properly chastened, I bowed my head in obedience to the only One who can carry me through anything.

Let me just tell you how He has blessed me since then. We had a blizzard. I might have been one of the few people that found that to be a blessing but it was, in a huge way. My class was canceled on Tuesday night and she gave us no homework for the week so that freed my week up. Then, my hubby & I got a snow day from work on Wednesday due to the weather conditions. A full day to chill with no homework to do?!?! Yes please! I was able to catch up on laundry and read whatever I wanted to read to my little hearts content. It has been a very relaxed week and I am very thankful to God for it. I know Jimmy is certainly thankful that his wife is no longer a psycho termagant.

Next week, it's back to the grind but I will be going back to it with a renewed heart and spirit. I know that with God, all things are possible. Even facing down the 5th graders homework on prime factorization in both expanded and exponential notations.

What to do on a Friday night........

when you have kids and just had to spring for a rear brake job on the fam-mobile?

Well some people might make a nice big dinner and then play games like Monopoly or Sorry with their family.

Others might curl up with a good book.

Our family....well we clean on Friday nights. And do dishes, laundry, and whatever other chores might have been left undone during our busy week. And then I make a homemade pizza, toss it in the oven while surfing the net and the hubs scratches away at his vinyl. As the one glass of Moscato turns into two or three, we might even dance to Madonna's La Isla Bonita or Deee-Lite's Groove is in the Heart while the rugrats giggle at what dorks their parents are. Ahhh the joys of family living.....

There and back again.....not a Hobbit's tale

As if I didn't have enough on my plate....I spent my last few days contemplating bringing my blogging back up to speed. Since I am back in college now...and I am in a writing class, what better way to practice right? Only on my blog, I can write about whatever I want, in any fashion I choose and in any length that I want. So there! I assert my ability to control at least one form of writing in my life. Heaven only knows "the man" is controlling the rest at the moment.

So what to blog about? How about the fact that I'm miserably sick and wishing to take another day off work tomorrow but won't because I swear I have some inherited-Catholic-guilt thing going on? Or maybe about my partially made meatloaf loafing about on the counter waiting for the eggs that my shopping-challenged husband is out to procure? Or possibly about the homework that I'm procrastinating on? Even better, how about the fact that we are going to have a joyous weekend bonding with an angsty teen who just can't understand why everyone is mad at her for failing her freshman year in high school?

......on second thought, maybe I'll just go back to the couch and my newest book instead.

Absence.....

Wow, I've been gone for a very long time. A slacker, that's what I am! I've always thought that my life started speeding by once I had kids and now I'm convinced that it goes by even faster, the older they get. The summer is already more than halfway over and it hasn't even felt like summer at all. Gotta love Michigan weather. That being said, I'm definitely ready for the advent of actual autumn. I'm ready for football, fires, manicotti and our annual trip to Traverse City. I'm also ready for school to start. Ani and I were window shopping for school stuff today while we were waiting for her prescription to be filled and we are both looking forward to school shopping this year.

I really need to make an effort to keep up on this blog...and on my book reviews. Really. I'm going to :)

What my name says about me

Thanks to Diane for this interesting link: http://www.kabalarians.com/index.cfm
I also do not believe in kabala but this is pretty interesting. I'd be curious to see how they came up with it.

· Your first name of Meghan has given you a responsible, expressive, inspirational, and friendly personality.
· Expression comes naturally to you and you are rarely at a loss for words; in fact, you have to put forth effort at times to curb an over-active tongue.
· Self-confidence has made it easy for you to meet people and you are well-liked for your spontaneous, happy ways.
· You sincerely like people and do not often experience loneliness; your work and home-life are likely filled with association You enjoy music and could have a fine singing voice; however, the study could be somewhat difficult because you do not find it easy to apply yourself to concentrated study for long periods.
· In this respect, this name is not altogether constructive; it creates a somewhat scattering influence which makes it difficult for you to finish what you start.
· This name brings disappointments and emotional involvements through being too sympathetic and easily influenced.
· As a result of your active nature, you have an appetite for quick-energy foods, which you could consume to excess.
· Health weakness appear as skin conditions, or as ailments relative to the liver.

I would definitely concur with having a problem curbing my overactive tongue as well not often finishing what I start. Yep, in general, this pretty much describes me.